Gratitude Practice 2024 March 26: Halfway Points

Whew! This morning, I completed my last external radiation therapy for this stinking cancer diagnosis. This milestone indicates I'm officially at the halfway point of treatment. Woohoo. Without question, 25 sessions of external radiation paired with 4 grueling rounds of chemotherapy adds up to the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Over the last several weeks, my body has taken a serious beating as we are fighting this stupid cancer with a carefully curated one-two sucker punch of lasers and poisons all strategically designed to push me to the edge and exterminate the  tumors. I'm so damn tired. But I am also damn grateful to be at this hard earned halfway point. My medical team has been extraordinary. My people have shown up and shown big love in the most personal and tender of ways. My Burke and Sarah Kate have held it and me  together when I have not been able to leave my bed. My goodness…I have been blessed. 

Today, super grateful to be at the halfway point of this aggressive battle. NEVER going to be grateful for cancer BUT incredibly grateful for the swift and steady response provided by the Huntsman team. As I left my final appointment this morning, I snapped a photo of the radiation machine and hugged the talented team of professionals who have made the unbearable…bearable. I get a little teary thinking about their kindness and humor and empathy and love. The radiation team gave me a certificate which states: “In celebration of the effort you have put forth in completing the time-consuming, fatiguing and sometimes uncomfortable task of a course of radiation therapy, we the staff of Radiation Oncology applaud you and extend our best wishes to you.” I've never been more delighted to receive a silly paper certificate. So grateful to be at the halfway point. Grateful to look back and know that as phase one almost put me under…I survived it…and that feels…powerful. Grateful that as I enter phase two next week, five sessions of internal radiation that I am lovingly referring to as my “Space Invaders” era, I have a much better idea as to what to expect and greater confidence in the team and in my abilities. Super grateful for a tiny break for a few days before the pew…pew…pew…begins.  Grateful to know that I can be stretched way more than I imagined and that I can in fact do hard things. We are far from done but reaching the halfway point feels really really good.