Gratitude Practice 2021 Day 353: The Art of Gathering by Pryia Parker
Just finished this book and loved it! I've read parts of this book over the last several years and have enjoyed hearing Ms. Parker interviewed on podcasts and news programs dozens of times. But taking it in...start to finish was a great way to begin a year...another year of social distancing and limited social interaction...a year where the very idea of gathering is... nothing short of aspirational. Wow! I really value the art of gathering and I really really really miss...people.
If I've learned anything in the last year it's that I really love a good….gather. Big big fan of a well planned dinner party. I LOVE the planning, the invites, the guest list, the menu, the shopping, cleaning and prep. Setting the table... finding and washing the dishes...selecting the linens... really love me some colorful well selected linens….and flowers if you are feeling fancy. The food...you've gotta have good food. And music is critical. All to set the mood and create the safe space for your people to feel love and to love and to be loved...is there anything better? I am grateful for every single aspect down to the last dirty dish.
Big big fan of a super casual back yard ping pong patio party on a Friday night to close out a work week and kick off the weekend. Realizing more and more I really need a good old fashioned community festival with ridiculous parking options, long lines, overpriced semi-edible food and way way too many crowds. Oh, crowds. Man, I miss crowds. And remember how incredible it was to swing by a local farmers market for a lazy mindless stroll, talk to a few random strangers who also prefer peaches to nectarines and soak in a little downtown city vibe...and the energy and excitement and collective relief and communion at an outdoor concerts...hell, I'd love to just linger at Target without a cloud of anxiety hovering above.
What a gift it is to meet up with friends at a favorite restaurant and eat food and let the conversation flow from big happy laughs to tender tears and whispered truths and then back to big laughs whenever and however many times is needed before the check arrives. Remember lingering with loved ones in a favorite place until the staff start sweeping the floors and stacking the chairs…. because the human connection and conversation is just so so important..so needed...so strong. I miss that indulgence. I crave meeting a girl friend for a long lazy lunch date…or catching up over a bowl of chips and salsa and some iced Diet Cokes. Ahhh, yes please! I ache to invite people over…for anything...at any time really...a.d for any purpose...that freedom...we just did not know or understand what we had with that carefree luxury.
You know the need is real when the idea of attending a community council meeting...in person...held in an always musty cramped meeting room at a local library with guaranteed uncomfortable chairs and guaranteed cranky constituents is actually sometime you are looking forward to doing...largely because the people watching is just way less satisfying over zoom. This is a sure fire sign that you are actually cracking. What have I become? Is any of this recoverable?
I really miss attending meetings with my team...in our stuffy cramped conference room with the long wood table that is not actually fit for humans as you knock your knees on it...every single time you sit down...I really miss these gatherings. A real in-person work meeting...you know where you sit in the same room together around a common table, with printed paper agendas and talk face to face with the gift of reading facial expressions and body language...man, those were good days. I long for a time to facilitate an in-person training or workshop or lesson or lecture...in...real...life...where you can watch and feel and experience learning and growing and new thought and thinking... occurring both individually AND collectively... together...I miss the magical juju of teaching real humans in real life. I miss the safety of singing hymns in church without fear or reservation or hesitation….just a whole room of broken sinners coming together to sing and worship and heal and support each other. Gathering generates power.. the individual journey inside the collective congregation. Remember the power of live music?... remember that feeling and that sound of actual humans playing actual instruments and singing...even if off tune and poorly...I'd take it...at this point I'd probably even attend a middle school orchestra concert if given the chance….oh, my weary broken Covid heart...what is this becoming? This metamorphosis? Man, I miss gathering...
Kinda crazy how times have changed and how much of the ground has shifted...is shifting. My gratitude for not just the ability to gather but for the art of gathering has really come into focus this year. Never before has my silly heart needed people more than it does right now...and I believe this is the same for everyone. Humans need humans with real interaction and genuine exchanges. This isolation fatigue is no joke.
Grateful for this book and for her research and her methodology for creating really meaningful and thoughtful gatherings. Looking forward to many many happy gatherings with loved ones far and near a d hoping to forever apply this new information and always hold onto these insights. Grateful for all of the big complicated events AND just as grateful for the simple random meet ups that when woven together have created purpose and friendship and connection….each serving as foundational and reinforcing layers of community….of my personal community. One day.. and hopefully sooner than later...and .THE absolute second it's safe to do so… I'm hosting the biggest most ridiculous over the top "We survived the pandemic" gathering….and everyone is invited.