Gratitude Practice 2022 Nov 10: The Sacred Welcomed Uncomfortable Critical In-between

It's the not really “there” anymore but also not quite ready for “the next” kind of feeling. 

It’s knowing you are at the end of the shampoo bottle and it would be much easier to grab a new one from the cupboard but you also know there is still value in the final few hard to locate soap filled squirts. 

It's anxiously waiting paired with an artful and strategic delay. It's a meaningful meander of sorts. It's movement but it's more of a  mosey.

It's the overly-tired toddler whose eyes are barely open, unable to regulate, running on very high emotions that emphatically states, “I’m not sleepy” all the while craving sleep, rest, and comfort. 

It’s the seven-year-old kid who insists on wearing their well worn beloved way too small now faded spider-man tee-shirt desperate to hold on just a little longer all the while realizing any super powers once felt were always and only fantastic imaginary hopes. 

It’s the precious fourth grader who secretly knows that a portly man from up north can’t really navigate a magical sleigh and that it would be practically impossible to travel through a network of chimney’s yet they secretly continue to wonder and hope and believe and wish. 

It's the angsty high school senior who is “so over it” brimming with confidence and eagerness for the next phase of the life adventure who is also ever so cautiously inching towards the gravity of adult life responsibilities. 

It’s the vibrant red, orange and yellow of late blooming autumn leaves. Those hearty little leaves that have hung on all season, patiently waiting for their turn and are finally now ready to burst onto the scene only to be quickly covered in the ever punctual over-achieving fluffy white snow of early winter. 

It’s the foundational truths that changing seasons continue to preach. Enjoy what you have for as long as you have it. Work for it.  Look for it. Watch for it. Wait for it. Be grateful for it. Embrace it. Savor it. Drink it all in….every single drop…all of it…all of the things…for all of the days...for as long as you can…all the while knowing that its sacred time and season will, should and is inevitably going to change and transform into something new and improved and more often than not…that something ends up to be even better than the last. If you are lucky and if you are open…the now can prepare you for the next. Once you get really really quiet and only when you are ready…the quickly ending now will communicate that you are profoundly...enough. That you are absolutely...ready.  And more importantly you have always been enough and you have always been ready. 

Tonight, I am learning how to be grateful for the sacred welcomed uncomfortable critical in-between. Grateful for the swooping feelings of what was and the hopeful feelings of what could become. 

Grateful to be learning (again) that change is inevitable and trust is always... always required. Grateful for the courage to let the now linger just a bit longer to ensure the hard won knowledge really sticks this time around. Grateful for the messy morphing that always occurs somewhere in the middle and mostly near the end. Grateful that with more years and experiences, I am learning how to appreciate the power of these opposing feelings…the melancholy of what was paired with the inertia and excitement of what could become. Grateful to be more aware of the rhythms and patterns of development and growth. Grateful to have carved out space in my head and heart to welcome this human paradox. Grateful that the mostly kind, often generous and very skilled teacher called life that is helping me find gratitude and peace inside the sacred welcomed uncomfortable critical in-between.